WARNING:  Very raw post ahead. I don't intend it to be a "Debbie Downer" kind of post and I really debated about posting this blog but I wanted to share for several reasons.  1)  Lots of times in life, we show only our "highlight" reel.  Things we only want others to see and not the real, hard stuff of life.  2)  We want other adoptive families out there to know that they are not alone in their struggles.  3)  We want you to know that we may not return calls, texts or emails right now but we still love you.  4)  We need your prayers.


Someday I will write about all the craziness that we encountered when we were leaving China and entering Hong Kong.  About a crazy driver who called himself, "Master", a lady at the China border who didn't want to let us through because Alina wouldn't speak to her and about a lady in a mask at the Hong Kong border who was shooting at us with what appeared to be a radar gun (taking our temperature?).  Someday I will have to remember to tell you those stories.  But today I want to talk about transitions.

By the time we left China, Alina had become very attached to all of us.  I guess I was kind of blissfully ignorant when we headed for the US thinking that the hard part of the transition was over.  I didn't think about what was comfortable for us may not be comfortable for her.  New sights, new smells, new environment, an animal that walks around in the house.  It was all quite scary to her.  The first night and the next few nights we got little to no sleep.  Alina was up and unhappy and screaming and no matter what we did for her nothing would soothe her.  We slept an hour or 2 here or there but we were exhausted.  Caylee ended up sleeping away from home for 3 nights because the screaming was too much.  This little girl who had opened up so much to us in just a week, took some giant steps backward.  We were at a loss.  Everything you learn goes out the window.  "Now where was that chapter I read about 'Screaming, Scared Child?'".

Finally on Sunday and Monday we were able to get some steady sleep.  In the daytime she is fine and my goodness...things have changed so much.  She is sweet and loving and so funny!  Hilarious!  She is freely giving kisses!  She is singing songs.  It has been wonderful to watch.  But as soon as nighttime rolls around, the fear creeps in. 

Tonight was difficult again.  She didn't want to be held and if I tried to, she would just scream in my face.  I had to put her down on the ground (on the carpet) and let her cry  because she was starting to hit me.  There was nothing I could do.  Nothing I could say to help her.  I could just be there for her.  Only just let her know that mama is here and not going anywhere.  She finally settled.  To be honest, I think it was more out of sheer exhaustion.  She let me hold her.  I cried.  She fell asleep in my arms.  Afraid to move, I had to wipe my snotty nose on my sweatshirt because I didn't want to wake her.

As I looked into her sweet face, I realized that her pain and her loss became our pain and loss.  Adoption is beautiful but it also comes with loss.  Loss of her birthparents, loss of birth country, loss of everything she felt secure in.  We share in that loss with her.  We share in her pain.  She doesn't know yet what forever is and that we are forever.  What she knows is fear and she knows pain and we willingly share in that with her because we love her.

Don't hear me wrong, having a forever family is the best most wonderful thing that could happen for an orphan in China.  But this is no "happily ever after" story.  This is real life.  And about a little girl who is still in survival mode.  We will help her to walk through that and we will be there for her.  We are her forever family.

Monday

Last night was easier still to get Alina to sleep.  But when she is tired, she is tired and wants to sleep (whether she knows it or not).

 

Today must have been opposite day because Alina only wanted mama.  She reached for me almost every time.  I remember the first day that Randy got her to reach for him.  He was so excited & yelled," SHE REACHED FOR ME!"  It really is amazing to see how much things have changed in the past week.  She is starting to trust us all more.   

 

We went to the Guangzhou Folk Art Museum.  I'm sorry to say but I almost skipped this one because I didn't think it would be very interesting (plus I wasn't feeling the best).  Was I ever wrong.  I felt like I was living an architect's dream.  The building was breathtaking. The doors were painted with scary warriors.  They believed that the scarier the picture, the more it would prevent people from entering.  We walked through building and I was in awe.  There was a section with wooden panels and each panel was carved with a different picture.  I was teary just standing there taking it all in.  Each wooden panel was carved with a different scene and had a different meaning.  No mass production here. 

 

We went into a room which looked like they had different paintings.  It was embroidery!  EMBROIDERY!!  So much detail in each of those pictures!  The beauty really was overwhelming!

 

Next we went to New Town which is where the new business section is and where the Asian games were held.  It felt so good to be outside walking by the water.

 

We met up for a group photo at 5:00 and after that we headed over to the park (across the street) with a few friends.  We came at a great time of year because everything is so bright and colorful for Chinese New Year.  We were told by our guide that since we are here, we have to see the statue of the ram in the park.  We walked and walked and walked some more.  We started to wonder if she didn't send us on a wild goose chase.  Like maybe she was laughing at the hotel and we were looking for something that didn't exist.  ;)  We found a guard who showed us on the map where to go.  Um...he didn't tell us that it was up a kabillion steps.  We walked up some steps.  We walked up some more steps.  Finally!  We arrived!  I think our friend's son summed it up the best.  As soon as we got up there he said, "Why is that one goat smelling the other goat's butt?" (it is nursing).  Hilarious! 

 

We had a quick meal at McDonalds and then headed straight to bed.  I am loving all the sights and sounds and everything we see here but we are excited about getting home!

 

Tuesday

I know...2 updates in one day!  WHAT?  Today was our US Consulate appointment.  We had to meet at 7:45 in the lobby.  Ugh to early mornings!  But happy for the appointment!  And by the way...all of our paperwork came in and on time too!  Hooray!!  I was so nervous going in because our guide couldn't come in with us.  We were on our own.  Ok...so I have become a little spoiled by them.  ;)  When we got there, the line was looooong!  I mean hundreds and hundreds of people.  Good thing we had an appointment!  We were able to walk right past most of the people there.  It's weird, Shiyan told us that we had to push in past the people or we wouldn't be able to get through.  It's such a weird feeling to have to push people out of your way to get to where you need to go (hmm...seems like there should be a story in that line there somewhere). 

 

Everything went really well and quite uneventful.  But Shiyan checked all of our paperwork before handing it back to us to make sure we had everything.  We had to take an oath.  We had to show our paperwork.  We had to wait for the other families and then we were done.  Easy peasy.  And much easier than I thought in my own mind.  You know...especially with my fear of being hauled away and stuff.  ;) 

 

Tomorrow morning (Wed) we will get Alina's visa back and then head to Hong Kong.  We will stay overnight in Hong Kong and then fly out of Hong Kong the next day.  Homeward bound!!  We are so excited to be headed home! Please pray for our trip home.  Alina has been through so many changes in just a week and this change is going to be huge. 

 

 

Sunday

 

Last night Randy was able to get Alina to sleep much easier.  There was crying involved but not as much.  I have to think about the progress that we have had in just under a week!  So much has changed.  The sleeping will come.  We are just along for the ride.  ;)

 

Today we went to Shamien Island.  This is where the "White Swan" hotel was.  This is the hotel where all of the adoptive families used to stay.  But it is currently under renovation.  It also used to be thriving with businesses because of the White Swan being there but unfortunately many of them have closed. 

 

I was determined to find a place called "Jenny's".  I have heard several adoptive families talk about this place and how sweet the owner Jenny is.  We left the group and started walking (Caylee was not too happy that we left the group).  We walked and walked and ended up at a place where the military was doing drills and we figured we probably walked too far.  We turned around and walked through a residential neighborhood and it was so awesome to see so much of the community outside.  They were playing badmitten, they were practicing tai chi, they were dancing.  It looked like it would be great to be a part of their community.  There were also several photo shoots happening and we got to see all the models made up & in their fancy duds (did you like how I said fancy duds there?).  ;)

 

Randy was the first to spot Jenny's. We were excited to be there because we've heard so much about this place.  She takes photos of all of the adoptive families that come through & keeps a scrap book.  She is a precious lady.  We spent a little while there & got Caylee and Alina matching traditional dresses. 

 

We went to a few other shops and noticed that they were setting up for a craft fair.  What a great day to be on Shamien Island!  We watched a man who was hand painting on a wallet.  We got one for Alina when she gets older.  

 

When we got back on the bus, we found out that our guide, Shiyan is totally the baby whisperer.  One of the baby's starting fussing, she walked over & said something to him in Mandarin and he stopped right away.  And although I didn't see it, it happened again with one of the other babies.  

 

As long as I am talking about Shiyan, I just have to say that she is worth her weight in gold!  She has taken care of us the whole entire time.  As I was asking her about the passport, she said, "It's my job to worry.  Your job is to relax."  She came up to our room to get some documents and talked to us awhile about the orphanage that Alina was at and some different things.  She is excited to see what happens with Alina once she gets the medical care that she needs.  She has also been excited to see the changes in her in less than a week.

 

I have to tell you about this really amazing thing that happened today.  SHE KISSED ME!!  Oh my goodness!!  I am just beyond excited about the changes that are taking place in her.  I feel like she is so much more comfortable around me and because she is, I can be myself around her.  Meaning, I don't have to hide all my craziness.  ;) 

 

 

Saturday

Yay for the other Bethany families getting here!  It was so great seeing them at breakfast this morning and meeting their kiddos!  And what a precious bunch of kiddos!!

 

Today was Alina's medical appointment.  Here's what you hope for with these appointments...no news is good news.  Meaning that you are hoping that the doctor's/nurses don't find anything that is different than what your referral states or there could be challenges.  If it gives you any indication as to what kind of day its going to be, there was a vending machine w/wine in it in the lobby of this building.   I think a lot of offices would do well to consider adding this to their offices.  The DMV for example. 

 

Ok..back to the medical appointment... ;)  It seems that Saturday is their busiest day.  But that could be because many of the adoptive families go on Saturday (not just Bethany families).  You have to visit 3 stations:  Nurses station, ENT, and Medical Screening.  And if your child is over 2, they have to get blood drawn.  Noooooo!  She did not like the medical exams but who likes a stranger touching them and talking to them while they are being poked and prodded?  STRANGER DANGER!

 

We went to a grocery store after the medical exam.  This is the same one that our guide took Randy to the other day when we were out in the van singing a song about poop.  It was a several story building and food was at the bottom.  Good thing that Randy knew where he was going & has such a good sense of direction anyway.  I would've been lost several times over already throughout this trip.  Our new guide, Shiyan told us we had to check out the different flavors of chips that they have here in China.  Mmmmm...seaweed Pringles!

 

We got to the check out and of course one of our items wouldn't scan.  The cashier was trying to tell me what was happening but I couldn't understand.  I got to use one of the phrases that I learned in Mandarin class "Wo ting bu dong." Which means, "I don't understand."  Thanks Michelle!  That one came in handy!  We just left that item behind.  OK...it was my Coke.  Stop it.  Stop judging me.  :p

 

We got back to the hotel and one of us had to go to a meeting at 3:00 to finish some paperwork.  For you that are in the paperwork stage right now...um...no...it doesn't ever end.  Did I mention how much I love paperwork?  The good news is that our guide Shiyan has done this before & so she took the paper line by line & told us what document we needed.  The hard part is when you bring along every. single. paper that you have just in case.  It's a lot to look through.  Most of what we needed though for our visa appointment had been given to us while in our province so it didn't take as long as I thought.  Plus its much easier to work when you have 10 other families there doing it together.  We are still missing our passport for Alina though.  And we need that for our consulate appointment on Tuesday.  I was told that we would have it by Monday.  Living on the edge.  Yup..it's what we do. 

 

Randy got the fun job of taking the girls to the swimming pool.  Caylee went swimming while Daddy and Alina watched.  Randy said that he was able to get Alina to say all of our names!!

 

Alina started feeding herself at dinner tonight.  I think there are so many things that she is capable of doing that we are unaware of just yet.  She keeps surprising us.  She has laughed a lot today.  She has definitely warmed to me and has even started copying some of my facial expressions.  :D  Everything was funny and we were enjoying trying to make her laugh. She has been smiling more freely.  I can't wait for everyone to see this smile in person!

 

Night time is still quite challenging.  It can take us 1 1/2 hours to get her to sleep.  But we will get there.

 

I was thinking today as I was watching the Bethany families with their kids just how special these kids with special needs are.  And about the way that God has stretched and opened our hearts in ways we weren't expecting.  A family adopts a child who is deaf and the entire family learns sign language together.  I am amazed.  And I think about our own Alina and the special needs that she has and how we didn't know anything about it before we started this journey.  I wonder where God is going to take us with her?  My friend reminded me of the scripture and said, "she was knit together in her mother's womb."  And I feel like she was created this way for her own unique self and for her own unique purpose.  And we are honored to be her parents! 

 

 

 

Friday:

 

THANK GOD FOR POOP!  Yes, I know I talked about poop the last time but you just don't understand how exciting this is!  She is a different kid!  A different kid I tell ya!  I mean no more pain, laughing when we crossed the street, smiling freely kind of kid!  So we are thankful today for poop (and modern medicine)! 

 

The day didn't start out like that though.  She was grumpy while waking up and we thought, "ok..not a morning person."  But it didn't get better from there.  We were on our way to the Botanical Gardens this morning & she just cried.  And not the just, "I'm whiny unhappy" kind of cry but the painful type of cry.  I tried to move her legs, I tried to rub her belly but even looking at her caused her to go into a tizzy.  As a parent, you know that when your kids are hurting, you are hurting.  And when there is nothing you can do to help them, it's even worse.  I was in tears by the time we got out of the van.

 

Randy put her in the Ergo & we walked around a little.  She started to settle down.  She even said, "fa fa" which is flower in Cantonese.  I cannot begin to tell you how beautiful the Botanical Gardens are!  And they are decorating for Chinese New Year (year of the horse by the way) so everything is vibrant and colorful.  To those of you that know my dad, you will understand this.  I am trying to take it all in for him.  I know how much he would appreciate the culture, the different surroundings, the tidbits of information.  So I am trying to soak it in more for him.  And pay attention to those little tidbits of information that I know he would appreciate.  Like which cities are sister cities in the friendship garden at the Botanical Gardens (I'll tell you later dad).  ;)

 

We came back and tried to put Alina down for a nap.  They told us at the orphanage that she takes a 2 1/2 hour nap per day and plus she sleeps from 9:00 pm - 7:00 am.  Um...let's just say that we are a little off schedule to say the least.  But when you try to give her a nap and think about how much her life has changed in just 5 days, sometimes you have to say heck with the schedule and go with what works.  Also being in a hotel room with others so close can make a difference.  No one needs to hear the cries of a baby for any length of time.  It is quite stressful.  Randy took Caylee out for a walk for that reason.  It's a lot at 10 to have to listen to the cries of a little one that just doesn't understand that she needs to sleep.

 

And then after the nap time is when the magic happened but I won't go into details about that. I think you might have heard all the poop stories that you need to hear for this time of day.  ;) 

 

We took Caylee to the swimming pool.  Can I just say how nice it is to be in the pool in the middle of January?  Again, just trying to soak it all in!  Caylee is always so happy when she is in the water! 

 

We went for dinner across the street at a coffee house.  It was so nice! We walked in and sat down & heard Justin Bieber singing, "Baby Baby Baby."  Caylee could not wait to tell her cousin Anika about that.  They had sandwiches & coffee/hot cocoa!  Alina was laughing as we crossed the street!  And can I tell you that she loves the camera!  Loves looking at the pictures of all of us on the camera.  Loves seeing herself on camera/video.  She was one happy girl! 

 

We got back to the hotel and saw some other Bethany families (they all flew in today)!  Yay!!  We liked the coffee house so much that we recommended it to them.  Uh..of course we had no idea that one of them was going to get robbed.  The dad chased the guy down & he eventually dropped the diaper bag that he took from them.  Always an adventure.  I told them that was part of the dinner and a show. 

 

We got back to the hotel room and were looking at pictures on the bed.  Alina was laughing so hard that she fell backward on the bed!  LAUGHING!!  I can not tell you how happy I am to hear this little laugh!  And such a hearty laugh too!  I can't wait for you guys to hear it!!  Apparently the sound, "Bee bee ba ba boo boo" is hilarious!  (you are trying to do that sound in your head now, aren't you?!  Admit it!  It's funny!).

 

We had a little trouble getting her to sleep again but I have to say that when she is asleep, she stays asleep.  Hooray!! 

 

I just wanted to add that I am not trying to expose Alina by telling you these stories about her.  I am honestly trying to just tell the story about our trip.  This is real life that we are experiencing right now and it has been challenging and wonderful and difficult and amazing all at the same time.  Thanks for walking this road with us! 

 

Thursday

 

Went for breakfast today.  They try to put all of the adoptive families together so that makes it nice.  The hotel is really nice and I am not trying to complain but I am so ready to go home.  I would trade this fancy hotel in for a nice quiet bowl of oatmeal at my kitchen table in a flash.  I miss my family.  I miss my peeps.  I am ready to have Alina home and start to show her around her new life in Maryland.

 

After breakfast Randy went to rent a stroller and the girls and I came up to the room so that we could get ready to go.  I was in the bathroom doing my make up and Caylee and Alina were playing with the Kindle.  There is a game on there with a cat that will repeat what you are saying in a high pitched voice.  I heard Caylee say, "Kitty getting a shower."  Next I heard Alina say, "Kitty getting a shower."  What what?!  It was the cutest, sweetest raspiest voice ever!!  I came out with my mouth gasped open and then a big smile came across my face.  Daggone it.  I should've stayed in the bathroom.  She might have talked more.  Usually positive encouragement works but not in this case.  In this case, the less emotion we show, the better. 

 

We met Cathy at 9:30 to go to the zoo.  Alina loved the stroller and cried when we tried to take her out of it.  She did not like the steps and cried every time we went down or up steps.  And she put her finger under her nose because it was smelly.  The animals were ok as long as they were far away.  If we tried to push her closer so she could see, she didn't like that.  I imagine with everything being new to her, it might be scary to be that close to animals (even if we are still so far). 

 

She laughed today at the zoo!  She tries to hide it immediately after she laughs by crying or whining but we know that she was laughing.  Of all things it was a hose that was leaking water that made her laugh.  We tried to go back to see it again but it was not as funny to her the second time.  ;) 

 

Caylee got to feed a giraffe.  His tongue was so long!  I think Cathy said 30 centimeters but I could be wrong.  We also got to see the llamas at feeding time.  One of the branches fell out & Cathy picked it up so that Caylee could feed the llamas too.  Boy that llama tore into that branch.  What an experience!

 

After the zoo, we asked if we could stop by a grocery store to pick up a few things.  Caylee and Alina really like these noodle things that are similar to Ramen noodles and it makes for an easy lunch.  Cathy and Randy ran into the store and the girls and I stayed out with the driver (P. S. His name is Mr. Lee).  He parked along the main street and got out of the van and smoked and stood outside.  It was weird to be in the middle of Guangzhou in a van by ourselves.  Seems like a perfect time to sing a song about poopy.  There has been a ton of talk this week about poop with Alina being so constipated (sorry that might be tmi for some of you...if so you may want to close your eyes now).  Who can say that they sang a song about poop in the middle of Guangzhou?  This lady!  Shortly after that, Alina said jie jie (big sister) and pointed to Caylee while we were waiting.  I guess the song about poop warmed her up.  ;)

 

We got back to the hotel and went to put Alina down for a nap.  Wasn't happening.  I mean, arch your back, throw a fit wasn't happening.  I walked with her, Randy walked with her and she fell asleep but as soon as he layed her down, she was awake.  We decided to just let her sit with me while Randy and Caylee went to the pool (totally loving this warm weather!).  She ate a cracker!  A sandwich cracker!  She is trying new things!  We decided to put on Alina's cute little frilly bathing suit and see how she did in the pool.  Um..did I mention this little girl who is not talking much has no problem expressing how she feels?!  She did not like the pool and wasn't going near it. 

 

As we were sitting by the pool, she had a marker in her hand.  She took the lid off, would pretend to dip it in the lid and then draw with it.  She would dip it in again and draw with it again.  I bet she has watched someone paint before (she is so observant).  And I can't wait to put some paints in her hands!

 

On a different note, when I put her bathing suit on and let her look at herself in the mirror, she laughed.  But then the laugh turned to crying as soon as she realized that she laughed.  She may be hiding but she is starting to come out.  She likes frilly.  She liked the hair bows too.  She saw it and tried to hide her smile. 

 

We are exhausted tonight and just went to McDonalds for dinner (it's right next door).  Alina tried a French fry and liked it.  Yes, yes, I know that McDonalds isn't the best option when you are trying to get away from a diet of rice and we told her that we probably won't visit McDonalds much at home.  Chick-fil-A yes.  McDonalds no.  ;)

 

 

 

Wednesday

 

Thank God we all slept well last night!  We went to bed a little after 9:00 and didn't wake up until after 7am!  A good nights sleep can certainly give you a brand new perspective!  :)

 

Although when we got up this morning, Alina wouldn't look at us.  She refused to make eye contact with Randy or I.  She was fine with Caylee but would turn her head when we tried to look at her.  This was really tough to deal with.  This transition is so hard for her and I just want to make it all better!  But it doesn't always work that way.  And I know what they say.."A tough transition is actually good because it means that she was attached to where she was & that she won't have problems attaching to you."  I know this is hard to understand but it is good for her to have somewhat of a rough transition.  If she just went to anyone that could be significant of a greater problem (her inability to attach).  So I "know" these things but that doesn't make it any easier. 

 

BUT something changed a little bit after breakfast.  She started to look at us more.  She started to look around more (she is always very aware of her surroundings).  When we tried to help her brush her teeth, she rolled her eyes at us!  As silly as that sounds, it was exciting!  It means she is showing us a little more of who she is! Randy & I both laughed.  I think she is going to be funny.  Really funny. My sister told me on Skype this morning that she was looking at me when I couldn't see her. And she was playing on my lap on the computer...pretending to type!  She still turns away when she doesn't want us to see her smile.  But it's not a rejection.  She is just hiding herself to protect herself.  And I get that. 

 

I wanted to add here about the brushing of the teeth.  Our social worker told us that generally speaking, the child will accept one parent and reject the other.  So the parent that she is more attached to will have to do the things that she doesn't like.  i.e. brush her teeth, give her a bath, etc.  I would say that although she hasn't rejected me, she has a very strong preference for Randy.  So Randy gets the dirty jobs. 

 

I really cannot say too many good things about Caylee and how well she has done with all of this.  She is becoming quite the little mama.  haha...sometimes even to the point that I have to remind her that I have been a parent before.  ;)  But she loves her little sister!!

 

We had to wake Alina up from her nap today to go apply for her passport.  She was quite groggy and did not appreciate that we woke her up (aaah yes...just like mommy!).  I tried to put her head on my shoulder so that she knew she could still sleep a little but she was stiff.  You kind of take for granted when your kids snuggle into you.  It's natural, it's just what they do.  I tried to put her in a cradle position but she still wouldn't relax into me.  I said, "I just cannot wait for the moment when she starts to snuggle into us."  On the van ride with no prompting, she layed her head into my chest!  It made my heart melt!!! 

 

I failed miserably in asking the driver for his name in English & in Mandarin.  He was so focused on what I was saying that he was turned in his seat trying to look at me.  And when horn honking is a form of communication, I just decided I would ask for his name another time. ;)

 

The restaurant that we went to for dinner was beautiful.  Although I forgot that the portion sizes were huge and I think I ordered enough for 3 families. 

 

It was my turn to put Alina to bed last night & she really struggled with that.  I walked with her, I talked with her, I layed down with her but nothing was working.  She does not like when the lights go out.  I finally took a page from the book of Randy & just didn't say a word.  I was just with her.  Just held her.  I cradled her and she finally went to sleep.  Sweet sleep!

 

I am sitting her right now and Alina is still sleeping.  I am thinking about how tough the wait was.  I think about how tough the transition is but I look into her face and confidently say that she is worth it. 

 

Tuesday

 

It's official!!  Alina is officially a Martin!!  She is ours!!  Woohoo!!

 

Last night was a long night.  Randy and I tag teamed it.  He would take an hour or two here and then I would take an hour or two there.  She let us sit with her in the chair and fell asleep on both of us that way.  Good thing we have those neck pillows that you wear on the airplane.  They were a life saver and we were able to get a little bit of sleep that way.  Caylee and Alina are both not feeling well so that didn't help things either.

 

We had to go back to the Civil Affairs office today (this is where we met her).  Alina did not like going back into that building.  She was very uncomfortable.  We were so nervous about the interviews but they actually went really well and kind of quick.  We had to promise to never abuse or abandon her and that we will treat her the same as we would our biological daughter. 

 

After the civil affairs office, we went to WalMart.  They turned the old airport in Guangzhou into a shopping center with WalMart at the bottom.  And it would be so easy to get lost in this WalMart.  It's like WalMart on steroids!  (ok..I can not take credit for that line..it totally comes from my friend Amy..but it's so funny!).  We had to buy Alina some new clothes because the clothes that we bought for her were too big.  She is a tiny thing.  She reminds me of about the size Caylee was at about 10 months old.  

 

When we got back to the hotel, Alina said her first word, "Dalla" or something like that.  It means, "we're here".  Of course I didn't hear it because I had already stepped out of the van. 

 

We had the afternoon off and took a walk around the hotel and outside.  Randy was able to wear Alina in the Ergo.  She really liked that.  We went to a play area and put her in a swing.  She was not a fan.  We gave her a minute and she seemed to warm up to the idea and stayed in there for quite awhile.  She seemed very content.   

 

We did laundry tonight in the bathtub.  The shower is in a separate room but it has a shade that can go up so you can see into the room.  I had never seen anything like that before until I saw pictures from my friend's recent trip to China.  We had the shade up so that we could still see into the room while doing laundry.  Alina didn't know that we were watching her & Caylee interact.  It was precious!  She was smiling at her & playing with her on the Kindle.  She even handed Caylee her rubber duck & said, "duck."  (Caylee is almost positive that is what she said). 

 

Our guide Cathy said that on Monday Alina's hands were closed into a fist.  But today the are more open.  That means that she is relaxing.  Yay!  Baby steps!

 

 

Monday

 

I woke up at 5:44 and wasn't able to go back to sleep this morning.  Today is such an exciting day!  We went down to the buffet and this one is at least 2 times bigger than the one in Beijing and that one was HUGE!  They have Chinese selections as well as American selections.  Caylee was happy to see bacon.  And she said that this bacon is much better than the bacon in Beijing.  Go figure.  ;)

 

There are several adoptive families at this hotel and we met one this morning.  Turns out they are from right up the road in Pennsylvania.  They just had their "forever family" day last Monday and so we chatted for a bit.  She said the first day was the hardest but that her daughter has done well for the rest of the week. Encouragement.  Aaah yes...just what I needed!  Thanks God!  :)

 

1:45 couldn't come soon enough!  We kind of piddled around at the hotel, we walked around outside and got Alina  a backpack to put her things in.  I don't know why but we were really nervous about making a good impression on the people from the orphanage.

 

We were the first ones at the Civil Affairs office.  There are 26 other families here picking up their children today.  We watched as 1 child came in, the 2nd child came in and the 3rd one was Alina.  I think Randy was the first to spot her.  I ran up to her but the nurse wasn't sure who I was.  Once Cathy (our guide) told her, she let me hold her.  Wow!  What a precious little gift all bundled up under layers and layers of clothing.  But that face.  That face was so easy to recognize!  Alina let us hold her and talk to her as long as the people that she came in with were still in eyesight.  And she was so very sad when they left. 

 

We are one of the first families to complete an international adoption with this orphanage so they were unfamiliar with all of the paperwork.  They kept taking picture after picture of us.  There was a doctor and a nurse that traveled with Alina.  It seems like she was well taken care of.   OH..and I almost forgot...she speaks Cantonese, not Mandarin.  Looks like I need to learn some Cantonese. 

 

She has grieved a lot today but there have been some bright spots.  She loves books.  She picked up a book and was really intently looking at it.  She has smiled at Caylee several times but won't let Randy or I see her smile.  She will turn her head if she is tempted to smile. She also loves to look at her picture after we take it.  She loves to play on the kindle.  She has not spoken a word to us yet but I know that will all come in time. 

 

I cannot begin to thank you for all the prayers that you all have prayed for the past 2 years on our behalf.  We are really blessed to have such an amazing support system.  We love you!!

 

 

Introducing Fumin Alina Hope Martin!!

 

 

Sunday 

 

We didn't sleep well last night because we had to be up by 3:30 am to meet our guide at 4:50 to get to the airport.  The hotel packed us a breakfast to eat on the bus.  It consisted of 2 crescent rolls, a hard boiled egg, ham and either milk or yogurt.  I wasn't sure which but didn't feel up to eating/drinking that this morning.

 

Our guide Tom walked us the whole way to security and we said goodbye to him.  He has been such a huge help to us throughout our stay and we learned a lot from him. 

 

I woke up this morning feeling very emotional.  This is our last day as a family of 3.  I am scared and nervous about what's happening next.  The unknown.  So much is unknown. 

 

I was talking to one of the Bethany families about my nervousness this morning & she said she was feeling the same.  We both were teary as we talked about it.  We were the last 2 families on the bus together and when we stopped at the airport, she gave me a huge hug.  So did her mom-in-law.  I can't tell you how much I needed that in that moment.  I grabbed another hug from her at the airport.  I am so thankful to God for giving us just what we need in the moments that we need them.  And I am truly grateful for these other Bethany families and will miss them over the next few days while everyone is in their own province. 

 

Going through security took awhile.  The machine broke at the line we were in and the guy in front of us was trying to tell us what was going on.  We had to switch lines and then all 3 of us got pulled out of line & scanned.  Our backpack had to go through the scanner twice.  Something about the umbrella.  We let out an exhale when we finally all came through.

 

We got through the airport and were able to sit down at our gate at a little after 6am.  We are really looking forward to getting into the warmer weather.  It has been so cold in Beijing!  Every time we walk outside, my chest gets tight.  Some of that is the cold air and some of that is the air quality. 

 

On our bus ride out to our plane, I think we played the game "how many people can we fit on this bus?"  I didn't know buses could hold that many people. 

 

It is hard to be in a country where you don't speak the language and you can't understand what is being said.  I feel more empathy toward the millions of Americans who's first language is not English. 

 

My prayer today is not for a smooth transition but for the best transition possible.  My prayer is that I would trust Him regardless of what happens in the next day.  That I would remember without a doubt that His hand brought us here.

 

Thank God the flight is over!  There was a little more turbulence that I like on flights.  Was so glad to land in Guangzhou!  We got to our baggage and there was a lady with a sign outside of the baggage area.  She was smiling and waving at us.  Looks like this is our new guide, Cathy.  She is so very sweet.  Bethany is so organized over here!  And that makes the travel so much easier. 

 

We took a 40 minute ride to our hotel.  On the way, Cathy talked about what we will be doing in the next few days.  She told me that she talked to the Orphanage director and that Alina is doing well.  They said that she is easy to take care of and that she likes to eat everything!  haha!  Randy said she will fit in well.  :)  I also asked if she knows about us and Cathy said that they told her last week and she was excited.  Oh. My. Word!  The fear that I had melted away with those words.  I cannot wait to meet our precious daughter! 

 

We got to the China Hotel and it is nice.  We put our things in our room and met with Cathy again to make copies of paperwork we need for tomorrow.  We then walked around the block and she was showing us some good restaurants to go to.  We passed a man who was begging on the street by McDonalds.  Caylee felt so bad for him and when we came back to the hotel, she prayed for him. I love her sensitive heart!

 

Caylee was finally able to go swimming this afternoon.  And she was so happy about that!  She wanted to swim while we were in Beijing but we just didn't have the time.  It's nice enough to swim outside here even though it gets cooler at nighttime.

 

We went to MCDonalds for dinner and as soon as we walked in the door, the lady behind the counter grabbed the picture menu & said, "Americans."  It's so hard to be the minority.  My entitled American self doesn't know how to handle it.  And it makes me wish that for next time that I will know more Mandarin & can communicate better. haha..and I am joking about next time but who knows..

 

When we came out of McDonalds, the man was still there asking for money and we were able to give him some yuan (the currency).

 

It is Monday here right now and I have so much more to say but I wanted to let you know that today at 1:45, we get to leave to meet our little girl.  Prayers are appreciated! 

 

Saturday

Saturday started at 4am.  Caylee woke up and could not go back to sleep. We were all up by 4:30.  We went for breakfast sometime after 6:00. 

 

It was such a busy day!  Bethany does a 3 day tour in Beijing before you fly to your province.  It helps you get adjusted to jet lag and also helps you understand a little more about the culture.  I can't wait to tell Alina about it someday.  We went first to Tiananmen Square.  Believe it or not, it isn't a square.  Who knew?!  ;)  It was much bigger than I thought though.  There is a big picture of Mao on the building.  This was the first stop of the day & of course this is where our camera decided to die.  Boo.  We put in new batteries but it still wouldn't work.  We tried to use Caylee's camera but that died shortly after too.  So we switched out batteries and then hers stopped working too. Turns out we had a bad pack of batteries.  Thank goodness one of our new friends stepped in & let us take pictures with her cell phone. 

 

We walked from Tiananmen Square to the Forbidden City. The Forbidden City was the Chinese imperial palace from the Ming Dynasty to the end of the Qing Dynasty.  For almost 500 years, it served as the home of emperors and their households, as well as the ceremonial and political center of Chinese government.    It went on forever.  Building after building and courtyard after courtyard.  The architecture was beautiful and every attention was paid to detail.  We found a little gift shop there and were able to get some new batteries.  Ba bam...our camera worked again right away.  Whew!  I could not imagine not having a camera & taking pictures of all of these amazing things! 

 

There are several families here with children so it was really cool to see them all playing tag together while we waited outside the Forbidden City.  Lots of people came up and wanted their pictures taken with the kids.  And they love Caylee's blonde hair!

 

We went next to a traditional Chinese home.  We had to take a rickshaw to get there.  You can only fit 2 people on there so Randy and Caylee rode together and I got to ride with my new friend Teresa.  It was fun!  I was just trying to take in all the sites and sounds of Beijing.  I still can't believe that we are here!  I also got to practice some of my Mandarin.  The rickshaw driver was impressed that I could say his rickshaw #:  363 - san leo san.  He would yell it back to me. "SAN LEO SAN!"

 

We passed an ice skating pond and it was packed!  They have these chairs they sit in with blades on the bottom for the ice w/some kind of poles in their hands and they were able to get around.  I've never seen anything like it.

 

The traditional Chinese house was really cool too.  There was a big courtyard surrounded by different buildings.  1 room/building for a kitchen.  1 room/building for a bedroom, etc.  And sometimes there are 2 or 3 families living there together.  It was great to explore!

 

We next went to a Chinese restaurant for lunch. It was hibachi style where someone cooks right in front of you.  We got to practice with our chopsticks because that's all they gave us.  P. S.  How do you eat fried rice with chopsticks?  Randy thinks we should use chopsticks with every meal because it would help us eat less. It's weird , I noticed that they were skipping the children on every round.  Someone told me later that they believe in serving the oldest (eldest) first and the children last. 

 

After lunch we went to a tea house and got to try several different types of teas.  The first sample we tried, you had to take in 3 sips.  The first for happiness, the second for prosperity and the third for long life.  I made sure to write that down because I knew my dad would appreciate what it meant.  The two other teas were a blend of Jasmine and they weren't my favorite.  I was proud of Caylee for trying it.  The last tea really wasn't tea at all but they called it fruit tea.  It is boiling water over dried fruit.  It was yummy!  And there is nothing to waste because you can eat the dried fruit afterward.  The tables and settings and all of the décor was beautiful. 

 

We went back to our hotel to rest for a little over an hour because we were meeting up later to go to an acrobatic show.  We decided to sleep but it was so hard to get back up!  The acrobatic show was amazing.  Those kids are really talented.

 

We got back to the hotel and went with friends to dinner.  This time we found a KFC but we had to go through kind of a shopping mall to get there. This is not like our shopping mall.  Imagine stores a little bigger than a kiosk all side by side.  Some had the exact same things.  And everyone approaches you.  Everyone!  Some lady told Caylee that she needed a different color boots to go better with her outfit.  Of course on the way out, we found the back way in.  KFC was good but different from our KFC.  And we had to communicate by pointing at pictures.  I feel like it gives me more empathy for people who are in America whose first language is not English.

 

Sunday is a day of travel and we had to be up and at the lobby by 4:50 so we went to bed almost as soon as we got back in.  Here are some pictures from our trip so far:

 

I slept like a log last night!  I was so exhausted.  Caylee did too.  I don't think she moved until 6am this morning when the alarm went off.  Randy woke up once but after a little bit was able to go back to sleep.  All in all, we have done ok with the time change (ha...I say this today but who knows how I will feel tomorrow).  I meant to say last night about this hotel that we are staying in...it is quite nice!  We walked into the lobby last night after getting off of our bus & someone started to play the piano and violin.  What a welcome!  Bethany has been so very organized and our guide, Tom got everybody their room keys and we were off to bed for the night. 

 

We got up this morning at about 6:00 to get ready for the day.  It was a busy one.  Breakfast has been included in our stay here at the hotel and they had everything.  Lots of western foods but a lot of things that I didn't recognize either.  It was good!  Caylee was happy because they had bacon & mandarin oranges.  :) 

 

We met the rest of the Bethany families in the hotel lobby at 8am and we headed first to the Cloisonné Factory. Cloisonné is an ancient technique for decorating metalwork. This was so cool to see how they took each little intricate part & placed it on the metal in just the right place & handpainted everything.  Seems like it would require a lot of attention to detail.  But the pieces were incredible! 

 

We next went to the Great Wall of China.  Wow!  I wish I had a better word for wow!  It was amazing!  To step foot on that wall and to climb those steps was just unbelievable.  And steep.  I mean reeeeeaaaallllly steep!  They don't make it look that hard to climb on tv.  We didn't make it to the top but we got to explore it and that was so much fun.  I was thinking about Jesus today climbing that great wall and how He is our Strong Tower.  I feel like I don't have the words to adequately describe the feeling I felt.  It's something that we have talked about doing for so long and to actually be doing it is quite overwhelming. God is so good! 

 

After leaving the Great Wall, we headed to the Jade Factory which also had a restaurant in it.  We got to sit family style and have all the food placed on a lazy susan (that's probably not what's its called) & share everything.  We sat with 2 other families AND Flat Stanley.  That Flat Stanley has been everywhere!

 

Going to the Bird's Nest was next.  We got to walk all around where the Olympics was held a few years ago.  And we got to see more of Beijing.

 

We came back to our room for a little while and then met some friends for dinner.  Our waitress was so funny and for some reason did not seem to appreciate when our friend said "thank you" in Mandarin.  She let out a big "pffffffft".  She even stepped away from our table, took our picture & stepped back to the table without saying a word.  There were some things on the menu that we decided not to try because they said words like "lean meat" and we weren't exactly sure what kind of meat it was. 

 

The touring is fun and we have another big day tomorrow but I am anxiously awaiting getting to Guangzhou so we can meet our little sweetie.  Please pray for her.  Pray for her transition.  Having a forever family who loves you is always the best scenario but everything that she knows is getting ready to change.

I have to hit the sack.  It is after 10:00 here & Randy and Caylee are both already asleep.  And I feel like I am not getting my words out right because I am quite sleepy.  Thank you for all of the love & prayers!   

HALLELUJAH!  We are in Beijing!!  I am trying to keep my eyes open so I can see all the sights but they are so tired!  Both of our flights were delayed yesterday.  And then our 2nd flight got delayed even further because the toilets were backed up.  haha!  Darn those people that flush things down the toilet that shouldn't!  But thankfully they got it fixed before we took off.  I can't imagine only having 1 toilet for all of those people.  The plane was packed!!  We met 2 Bethany families on the flight.  We have a total of 11 families from Bethany making this trip with us.  I can't wait to meet all of them & hear their stories!  I don't want to complain about the ride but it was cramped!!  Imagine sitting in a box that is just big enough for you & then the person sitting in their box in front of you wants to lean back and sit in your lap.  haha!  I have to say though for all the changes & all the time zones & all the cramped-ness (is that a word?), Caylee was a trooper!  Quite honestly, I think she did better than me on the flight.  We tried to sleep and when we finally got all settled, all the lights came on & they fed us a sandwich.  Eh well...you gotta eat, right?! 

The paperwork doesn't stop.  We had to fill out a form for getting into the country & one to keep for when we leave the country.  I don't know why these forms freak me out so much but they do!  It's like those blasted buttons on the kiosk at the check in.  I'm so afraid that I am going to fill out something wrong and be hauled away.  Yes, I know it's silly but um..well..it's what I do.  ;)

 

I find myself wondering a lot about Alina.  I wonder what she's like.  I wonder if she is shy, I wonder if she is sassy.  I wonder what her laugh is like.  Will she even laugh with us or will she be scared of us?  I know the little girl that we meet that first day will not be the same little girl 3 months from now.  It's is going to be a gradual process of trust I'm sure.

 

We got in and were picked up by a Bethany representative.  We took a little less than an hour drive to our hotel.  The traffic here is crazy but what do you expect when you have 20 million people in one city?  The buses don't stop for bikes, the cars don't stop for buses and no one stops for pedestrians. It's beautiful though & we are so thankful to be here!!

 

It's here!!  The day we have waited for/dreamed about & wanted for so long is finally here!  Caylee and I couldn't sleep last night.  She probably conked out after 11:00.  We were awake around 3am because we were supposed to leave for the airport at 4:00.  Our flight that was supposed to leave at 6:10 was delayed until 9:40.  We went back sleep until 6:00.  The thing about going back to sleep w/naturally curly hair is that you wake up with HUGE hair.  haha!  We all needed that laugh at 6am.

Getting to the airport, we had to check in electronically.  I know I need to get with the times but I want human interaction!  I want to know that the buttons I'm pushing are the right buttons & that I am not setting off some secret security code.  Plus I needed someone to smile at me.  :)  Thankfully someone came over to check our luggage and told me I was pushing all the right buttons.  Caylee was asking a lot of questions every step of the way.  A LOT!  I was trying to focus on what to put in what bin and she wanted to know why some people were going in one line and some had to go through the line with the full body scanner.  Speaking of which, Randy and Caylee got to go through the regular line but I got pulled out to go into the full body scanner machine.  I think it was my big hair.  Me in that machine would've made for a great picture later but I am oh so glad that Randy didn't take one.  I am not my humorous self at 7am.  

The rest of the time waiting was pretty uneventful, we watched a man ride up the luggage escalator.  Caylee thought that was funny.  The flight left at 9:40 and the airplane was kind of empty; no more than 50 people.  Lots of passengers had to rebook because of the flight delays.

These past few days in getting ready to go have been very stressful.  Trying to finish up the auction, buying last minute items, making copies of this and that, checking and double checking that we have all of our paperwork, cleaning (ok..Randy's mom did most of that), laundry..whew!  It's been tiring!  BUT now that we are on this flight, we can give a collective sigh of relief because we are ON OUR WAY!  When Randy's parents took us to the hotel in Baltimore last night, I asked them if there is anything they wanted from China.  His dad said, "The girl!"  Yup...that about sums it up!!