Wednesday

 

Thank God we all slept well last night!  We went to bed a little after 9:00 and didn't wake up until after 7am!  A good nights sleep can certainly give you a brand new perspective!  :)

 

Although when we got up this morning, Alina wouldn't look at us.  She refused to make eye contact with Randy or I.  She was fine with Caylee but would turn her head when we tried to look at her.  This was really tough to deal with.  This transition is so hard for her and I just want to make it all better!  But it doesn't always work that way.  And I know what they say.."A tough transition is actually good because it means that she was attached to where she was & that she won't have problems attaching to you."  I know this is hard to understand but it is good for her to have somewhat of a rough transition.  If she just went to anyone that could be significant of a greater problem (her inability to attach).  So I "know" these things but that doesn't make it any easier. 

 

BUT something changed a little bit after breakfast.  She started to look at us more.  She started to look around more (she is always very aware of her surroundings).  When we tried to help her brush her teeth, she rolled her eyes at us!  As silly as that sounds, it was exciting!  It means she is showing us a little more of who she is! Randy & I both laughed.  I think she is going to be funny.  Really funny. My sister told me on Skype this morning that she was looking at me when I couldn't see her. And she was playing on my lap on the computer...pretending to type!  She still turns away when she doesn't want us to see her smile.  But it's not a rejection.  She is just hiding herself to protect herself.  And I get that. 

 

I wanted to add here about the brushing of the teeth.  Our social worker told us that generally speaking, the child will accept one parent and reject the other.  So the parent that she is more attached to will have to do the things that she doesn't like.  i.e. brush her teeth, give her a bath, etc.  I would say that although she hasn't rejected me, she has a very strong preference for Randy.  So Randy gets the dirty jobs. 

 

I really cannot say too many good things about Caylee and how well she has done with all of this.  She is becoming quite the little mama.  haha...sometimes even to the point that I have to remind her that I have been a parent before.  ;)  But she loves her little sister!!

 

We had to wake Alina up from her nap today to go apply for her passport.  She was quite groggy and did not appreciate that we woke her up (aaah yes...just like mommy!).  I tried to put her head on my shoulder so that she knew she could still sleep a little but she was stiff.  You kind of take for granted when your kids snuggle into you.  It's natural, it's just what they do.  I tried to put her in a cradle position but she still wouldn't relax into me.  I said, "I just cannot wait for the moment when she starts to snuggle into us."  On the van ride with no prompting, she layed her head into my chest!  It made my heart melt!!! 

 

I failed miserably in asking the driver for his name in English & in Mandarin.  He was so focused on what I was saying that he was turned in his seat trying to look at me.  And when horn honking is a form of communication, I just decided I would ask for his name another time. ;)

 

The restaurant that we went to for dinner was beautiful.  Although I forgot that the portion sizes were huge and I think I ordered enough for 3 families. 

 

It was my turn to put Alina to bed last night & she really struggled with that.  I walked with her, I talked with her, I layed down with her but nothing was working.  She does not like when the lights go out.  I finally took a page from the book of Randy & just didn't say a word.  I was just with her.  Just held her.  I cradled her and she finally went to sleep.  Sweet sleep!

 

I am sitting her right now and Alina is still sleeping.  I am thinking about how tough the wait was.  I think about how tough the transition is but I look into her face and confidently say that she is worth it.